Growing up in southern Ontario, I never knew anything about God. Except for the odd time as a child when I went to the Anglican parish with my maternal grandmother, I never went to church.
At around age 18 I really began going deeper and deeper into sin. I was a “party girl.” Dancing and the “bar life” was all that I knew and was all that I wanted. My life was spiralling out of control and I could not stop it. Finally, in 1997, at 20 years of age, I became severely depressed; I was suicidal.
August 1997 saw me working as an Assistant Manager for a clothing store in downtown Calgary. While I was on shift one day, an older man came into my work looking for the Eaton’s store close by. I tried to explain the directions, but, after several unfruitful attempts, I decided to take him myself. I excused myself from work and began walking slowly alongside the elderly gentleman. He began talking as we walked and told me he was a street preacher in downtown Calgary. He told me about how the people downtown treated him roughly and how rude they were to him and his message. I was shocked; I had never known anyone to do such a thing. I thought, “What would possess an old man to stand on a street corner each day shouting a message to every passer-by?” Before the man left, he handed me a tract and walked out of my life. To this day I do not know who he was….
I do not remember much about that tract, but I do remember looking at it sitting on my dresser in my one bedroom apartment in downtown Calgary. I remember it sitting there for several days. For some reason, I could not bring myself to throw it out, nor could I bring myself to read it. I do not know how long I waited, but I recall finally picking up the little white tract and reading it. What I read terrified me. I knew that everything I read in that tract was truth — God’s truth.
That night I tried to escape the thoughts that plagued me. I went to bed intoxicated, as usual, only to have a most horrible nightmare. I dreamt I was standing before God, giving an account for my life and the sins I had committed. I knew punishment was coming and I knew it was eternity burning in Hell. Nothing I could do could save me from the future that awaited me….
I tried to find “religion” after that terrifying night. I tried going to church. I tried living a better life. I tried to reach Heaven by being a good person. All the while, I was still bound for Hell. Nothing I could do would satisfy the payment for the sins I had committed. Nothing I could do would take away the guilt of my soul.
In March of 1998, I met a young man while I was waiting for a job interview. He was very kind and sincere and I noticed something different in him. After that encounter, we agreed to keep in touch. One Friday night in particular we had planned to get together, however something had come up and he had to cancel. He said he had forgotten he had already made plans to go to church with a friend. I asked him if I could come along and he agreed.
That night there was a youth service at that Baptist church. I do not remember what the pastor said, nor what was done or sung that night; all I remember is feeling something I had been suppressing for a long time — conviction. The Spirit of God was truly working on my heart for months to prepare me for this particular night.
On the drive home, the young Christian man asked me if I wanted to be saved from Hell and eternal damnation. I readily agreed. Once we got to his parent’s house, he took out a tract and a Bible (I had never even seen a Bible before!) and went through the plan of salvation with me. When we were finished, repented of my sins, accepted that Jesus Christ suffered and died in my place on the cross, received God’s forgiveness and — glory to God! — was born again. That was on April 10, 1998; four days before my 21 birthday.
On March 13, 1999, that son of a preacher who lead me to the Lord and I were married.
The story does not end there. The Lord has been doing an amazing work in my life, and for that I am truly grateful. I no longer desire the life I used to lead. I have completely changed and have truly become a “new creature” {2 Corinthians 5:17}.
I will be sure to write more about the changes in my life from time to time, always aiming at giving the prise and glory to my Lord and Saviour for what he has done. Without Him and His shed blood for me, none of this would be possible; I most certainly would not be here today writing to you.
This story, however, was not written to glorify me; it is about what Jesus Christ did on the cross for my sins and yours. If you would like to read for yourself what God says about how you can be 100% sure that you are going to Heaven when you die, please read the information under the “Where are you going?” tab at the top of this site.
“Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift.”
2 Corinthians 9:15
